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Bringin' High Hopes Without The Smoke


Ian Anderson

Ian Anderson was born in South Philadelphia, but had to move to Baltimore for the time being.  He is a rabid drinking fan with a bit of a baseball problem.  Ian gets paid to tell people how to do things on the internet.  He is earning an MFA in Creative Writing.

He has hundreds of friends on Facebook, but talks to six people.  Someone once asked him if he ever thought about modeling.  He hadn’t.  He Tweets for The Phillies Blunt.  He has no idea what he’s doing.  Ian was an umpire, a waiter, a tour guide, and the guy who controlled the JumboTron at Minor League Baseball games.  He is none of these things now.  He managed to graduate high school and college without opening a book.  He’s knows a lot of useless information.  Ian’s favorite beer is Pabst Blue Ribbon.

If Ian could be anything in the world he would be the Phillie Phanatic.  A close second is writer for The Phillies Blunt.  He hates Tom McCarthy, Larry Jones, the Mets, the music of Andrew Lloyd Weber, and Jello.  Ian hopes to write good one day.

Kevin Anderson

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, Kevin Anderson once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon from a horde of ferocious army ants.  He plays bluegrass cello and was scouted by the Braves. Kevin has been the subject of numerous documentaries.  When bored, he builds large suspension bridges in his yard.  He also enjoys urban hang gliding.  On Wednesdays after work, Kevin repairs electrical appliances free of charge.

An abstract artist, concrete analyst, and ruthless bookie, his 2007 interview on 60 Minutes lasted several hours & ended in blood shed. Critics worldwide continue to swoon over Kevin’s original line of corduroy evening wear.  He doesn’t perspire.  He is a private citizen, yet continues to receive fan mail.  Kevin has been ‘caller number nine’ nine times. However, he has never shown up at the radio station to collect the backstage passes. He bats .400. The term ‘triple double’ was coined in Kevin’s honor. Kevin’s floral arrangements have earned him fame within international botany circles. Children trust him.

He sleeps once a week. When he does sleep, he sleeps in a chair.  Kevin can pop-a-wheelie.  He resides in South Philadelphia. He is a writer for the Phillies Blunt.

Brian Maloney

Brian was born and raised in North East Philadelphia, in the Juniata Park section. His grandfather worked at Connie Mac Stadium as a ticket taker and, in 1971 he made the move over to The Vet. When his sons were old enough they continued to carry the torch and were employed inside Veterans Stadium as ushers. Brian’s Uncle Jim still works at The Bank as a ticket taker at the left field gate. Having been to more games than he can count, it’s only fitting that Brian has an undying love for the Fightins.

Upon moving to South Jersey in 1998, Brian attended every home game of the ’98 season, spending most of the games in Section 342. He lists this as one of his greatest accomplishments in his entire life. He’s seen more Rico Brogna strikeouts than he’d like to remember. Just like Charlie Manuel, Brian’s blood is Phillies red. He loves all Philadelphia sports. He has even attended a Kixx game. Brian hopes that his never ending love affair with the city of Brotherly Love will translate well to the pages of The Phillies Blunt.

Brian lists his greatest accomplishments as, in no particular order:

Attending a ’93 World Series Game, Being the only one of his friends to fall asleep at the ’08 World Series Parade, Attending every game of the ’98 Phillies season, Attending Game 6 of the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals and being on the Walt Whitman Bridge before the Cup was presented, Appearing on the 2007 Goosebumps Phillies DVD, and saying “I Love You” upon meeting Mike Richards and meaning it.

 Brady Anderson

Brady Anderson enjoys phones, Elmo, magnets, and the Phillies.